Holy Order Joins Challenge to Obamacare with an Anatomical Twist

By Marc Merlin

Published: January 5, 2014

WASHINGTON — A little-known monastic group, the Brothers of the Holy Appendix, has filed a friend-of-the-court brief in the case before the Supreme Court in which the Little Sisters of the Poor, an order of Roman Catholic nuns, have challenged requirements of the Affordable Care Act which require employers to provide insurance coverage for contraception or face related penalties.

Unlike the Little Sisters, whose reservations extend to the wide variety of safe and effective methods for family planning and for the low-cost reduction of sexually-transmitted diseases, the Brothers' objections are focused narrowly on the fact that the new healthcare law involves them either in the process of providing coverage for appendectomies or in informing a third-party administrator of their decision to opt-out of such coverage.

Citing First Amendment protections, Fr. Cecal Gorgonzola explained, "we consider the appendix a God-given feature of the human anatomy and any tampering with it, much less its removal, constitutes an abomination according to our religious doctrine." He continued, "compelling us to participate, directly or indirectly, in supporting even medically necessary appendectomies is an infringement of our freedom of conscience and freedom of speech and must be resisted."

Pope Startles World with Reversals in Christmas Day Address

By Marc Merlin

Published: December 25, 2103

VATICAN CITY - In his first Christmas Day speech as leader of the Catholic Church, addressing a crowd of some 70,000 people from the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica, Pope Francis called for "peace to mankind." And he asked for everyone "who hopes for a better world" to join him in this "heavenly song."

But the Pope went on to say that wishes and hope are not enough to make the world a better place. That task requires hard work and courageous decisions. So, in that spirit, the Holy Father expanded on his seasonal message by declaring a reversal of the Church's long-standing opposition to same-sex marriage and the participation of women in the Catholic priesthood.

Most remarkably, recognizing that two of the scourges that have afflicted mankind since its fall from grace, hunger and infectious disease, could be alleviated with a stroke of his pen, Pope Francis announced that the world's community of 1.2 billion Roman Catholics would now be free to use contraceptive practices according to their own desires as led by the lights of their own consciences